I remember where I was this time last year; celebrating my mother and mother-in-law during a beautiful Mother’s Day brunch, surrounded by so many mamas and their floral arrangements. Pictures are being taken and Mother’s Day cards exchanged. There’s a sense of warmth in the air. Moms have a way of bringing that out, don’t they? I was feeling so blessed to have not one, but two beautiful women to call mom, but there was a massive part of me that was sad. Sad because just days prior, John and I had were informed of a failed IUI attempt. I was out celebrating moms when I so desperately wanted to be one. That would be the last year I’d ever feel that way. This year, I am someone’s mom.
I was recently asked in a mommy group how I felt about being someone’s mom. It’s a question that threw me for a loop. I had a baby, of course I’m a mother. I guess I had been so wrapped up in fertility treatments, pregnancy, labour and keeping this precious baby alive to think about what it all means.
Being someone’s mom means I am responsible for shaping an impressionable mind. I am the person she’ll come to when she has questions about life and how it all works. I’m the person who will mend her cuts and nurse her sicknesses, and I will be the one who moulds her mind and fills it with my values.
That’s a lot of pressure, huh? You better believe that I’m terrified that I may not know all the answers, but here’s what I’ve come to learn in my two short months of motherhood.
My best IS enough
It’s okay not to have it all together
Talking helps to feel not so alone
It’s no longer all about me
How much my mother sacrificed
My daughter may never know just how tired I am, how many loads of washing I do for her, how much I worry every second of every day, how much I cried when she got her first shots, how much I miss my old body, and how I skip my naps just to stare at her.
My wish is that she grows up knowing how blessed I am to have her and how truly lucky I feel that I get to be her mama.
I am beaming with happiness that this year I am someone’s mom. It feels surreal, but I’m embracing every second of it. It’s a tough job, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To all the hard working women who do it for the love of their children, I GET IT NOW.
Happy Mother’s Day!